


This is What Love Looks Like

by Hufflepure (LoadsofCustardCreams)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, COG, Crimes of Grindelwald, F/M, Fantastic Beasts, Love, Mind Reading, Romantic Fluff, Romantic love, everything, newtina, queenie can hear everything newt thinks, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 13:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18011558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoadsofCustardCreams/pseuds/Hufflepure
Summary: Newt happens to be in New York, and Queenie invites him over for dinner, much to Tina's displeasure. After all, she thinks Newt would rather be back in London with Leta. But Newt's shouting and Queenie can hear exactly what he thinks of her sister.AU that takes place before the Crimes of Grindelwald if Newt was able to have his travel ban lifted.---





	This is What Love Looks Like

**Author's Note:**

> I have a sudden obsession with Newtina and I've written like... three one shots already that I need to post. I just love them so much. I just want to bash their heads together and make 'em kiss. Anyway, I really really enjoyed writing this fic. It was honestly such a joy, and I hope you love it as much as I do. Can they just be happy please ahjdsfkdlkf.

‘Just put something _nice_ on, Teenie.’

Queenie threw her sister a look over her shoulder as she slipped a soft pink dress over equally pink undergarments. It was silk, and seemed to cling to every inch of her skin, hugging her hips and the rest of her curves. Queenie always had a habit of looking radiant in whatever she wore— she could wear a garbage bag if she wanted, and she’d still look beautiful. She simply seeped radiance.

Tina, however, didn’t own a single thing that wasn’t sensible pants. Or sensible work-shirts. She did have a pretty flower shirt that she pulled from the closet, but as soon as she’d held it up to the light, it had been ripped out of her hand by a wave of Queenie’s wand, and floated back to where it came from.

‘It won’t hurt ya,’ Queenie continued, ‘to dress _nicely_ for once.’ She threw a sly look over her shoulder. ‘For _him._ ’

Tina kept her face and, although it was an effort, her thoughts blank. She usually wasn’t too bad at keeping her thoughts from her sister. After all, she’d had years and years to practise. But there were still times when she couldn’t keep anything from her— not a single tear, not a moment of joy. She had to learn to block her out, and she was usually good at it— until Newt Scamander came along.

Tina sighed. ‘I can’t believe you invited him. 

‘I can’t believe _you_ didn’t.’ She picked up a sparkling silver bracelet, from her bedside table and slipped it on her wrist. ‘Poor man’s gonna end up thinkin’ we don’t want him around anymore. Here—’ A dress floated out from Queenie’s half of the closet and drifted down onto her bed. ‘Put this on.’

Tina picked up the slinky, black number Queenie had dug out for her and almost choked. She knew it would cling to her, and she knew there was no way she’d be able to pull it off. She wasn’t like Queenie. She wasn’t—

‘Nonsense.’ Queenie tutted. ‘You ought to wear it. Show off those shoulders of yours. Mr. Scamander ain’t gon’ be able to keep his eyes off you.’

‘I’m not sure Mr. Scamander’s that sort of man,’ Tina mumbled, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks at the thought of wearing something like _this_ in front of _him_.

‘Sweetie, every man is that sort of man when he’s confronted with the right girl. But I guess we’ll see tonight.’ She fluttered her eyelashes innocently. ‘There’s a Brit in the office I’ve been practisin’ on. He’s a real charmer.’

Tina gave her wand a wave and watched as the outfit drifted back to the closet. She followed close behind, trying to suppress a sigh. If she wasn’t going to get away with her own outfits, and if she _had_ to wear something of Queenie’s, she’d pick something out _herself_. Something that wasn't so clingy or silky or satin-y. She decided on the simplest dark blue dress she could find, that still seemed not nearly as simple as her own clothes. A little low at the back, but it would show a lot less skin than the other outfit — or any of Queenie’s outfits, come to think of it. She'd wear it with her black work heels.

She hadn’t seen him since that fateful day at the docks, where she’d stood and watched him leave. Back to England. It had been bittersweet after everything they’d been through. Only a few days before then Tina would have said that she was happy to get rid of Newt Scamander. The man was awkward, incredibly difficult to talk to, and he and his creatures posed a serious and terrible threat to the statute of secrecy. Or so she had thought. But she’d come to realise that he was actually incredibly caring. He handled his creatures with such devotion, a type of intensity on his face that would probably make her knees weak if such a gaze had been trained on her.

She banished that thought _immediately._

She could feel Queenie’s eyes on her as she quickly slipped into the dress, and she knew her sister was trying to get more of a read on her. Well, Tina wasn’t going to give her anything, and especially not an ounce of what she felt for Newt. So she built a wall and closed off her mind. She would try not to think too much about it anyway. What she was wearing, that was, or the fact that Newt was going to be here _tonight._

That was if he even showed. He'd stopped answering her letters weeks and weeks ago, so why would he turn up to their little intimate dinner party? She'd be surprised if he even let them knew he wasn't coming.

So, really. She had nothing to worry about.

* * *

 

Tina refused to answer the door so Queenie had no choice but to get it, even though she was in the middle of preparing dinner. Her sister was acting real silly, Queenie thought. Here was a fella who had stood on the platform of a — fair enough, it was a boat, and not a train — _telling_ her that he wanted to give her his book in person, basically _admitting_ how he felt about her, and Tina had just let him go. 

If it were Jacob Queenie knew for _sure_ that she wouldn’t let him go. And she hadn’t— she may have let the rain obliviate him, but she had marched right into that bakery and found him again. It was a small miracle, and a testament to their love, that he remembered her.

So flash forward six months later and there they were. Queenie and Tina dressed up all fancy-like, waiting for their boys like old times.

It was Jacob who stood in the doorway, dressed to the nines in a suit and tie, a bottle of red wine under his arm. She couldn’t hold in her smile when she saw him. ‘Jacob, honey, you look _wonderful._ ’

_And you look exquisite,_ he thought. 

‘You look—’

‘Exquisite. I know, honey.’

Jacob grinned. ‘Can’t you let me pay you a compliment? Y’know, out loud?’

‘Oh, you don’t mind.’ Queenie took his arm and led him into the apartment, the door closing automatically behind him. ‘Newt not with ya, honey?’  

Jacob shook his head. ‘No, no, he’s— I don’t know where he is.’ Then he caught sight of Tina sat at the table, her hand tucked just underneath her chin. He blinked. _Is that Tina?_  He cleared his throat. ‘Wow, Tina. You look—’ _Different._ ‘Great.’

‘Thanks, Mr. Kowalski,’ Tina said, ever formal.

‘Hey, we’ve known each other for a few months now. Don’t ya think it’s time you start callin’ me Jacob?’

Tina gave him a small, guarded smile. Queenie didn’t need to read her mind to know that she still didn’t approve. She knew the spiel she’d probably get tonight: _He’s a no-maj. You can’t marry no-majs. You can’t be with them. Something about jail, blah blah blah blah._

She glanced over her sister, and they shared a look. And, just like that, Tina let her into her head, _Ceasefire. For tonight._

‘Sure thing, Jacob,’ she said out loud.

Queenie let out a visible sigh of relief.

You see, that was what Queenie was counting on. She wanted Tina to withhold all her judgements and concerns just for tonight, _just_ until she managed to get Newt Scamander in the room. She’d push them together like she used to do to the dolls their Ma bought them when they were girls. Tina would be _forced_ to open her heart. The only thing was, they were both so darn awkward. Newt had been in New York a week or so and _still_ hadn’t turned up with that blasted book of his.

And it wasn’t due to a lack of feelings. Oh, no. Queenie had caught snippets of his thoughts last time they’d been together. He’d been hurting over Leta Lestrange, the taker. But his thoughts were drifting towards Tina. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking all the time, because he was a Brit and the accent really threw her off, but she caught some things. The fact that he hadn’t held it against Tina for almost getting them both killed— well, that spoke volumes.

So yes, tonight was the night. And then Tina, so head over heels in love with Newt, would _have_ to accept Jacob, knowing that the thought of living without love was the cruelest fate of all.

_Gosh— that smell— delicious,_ she heard Jacob chime.

‘Thank you. We’re doing pie tonight, honey.’ Queenie said, as she steered him towards couch. ‘Should I take that?’ The bottle of wine drifted from his hand with a wave of her wand. ‘And your coat?’ Immediately, the coat started to tug down from his shoulders of its own accord. Jacob was no longer fazed by this, but let the magic do its thing. He still couldn’t help but watch it as it drifted over to the peg and hung itself up.

‘Wine, sweetie? Or we have some of that ol’ firewhiskey just sittin’ in the kitchen.’

‘Wine, please.’ _Firewhiskey makes steam come out my ears._

‘Yeah, it's a bit too hot to handle even for me sometimes. Teenie loves it, though. But wine, it is.’ She tapped his nose before conjuring up a wine glass and the bottle and Jacob watched, open-mouthed, as the glass poured itself. ‘So, you heard from Newt?’

Out the corner of her eye, Queenie saw Tina stare down at the table, which meant she was listening very intently.

Jacob plucked his glass from the air.

‘Nah, I haven't. Pretty sure he still thinks I've been obliviated.’

‘Well, he knows you're comin’ tonight. At least I think he does. I said so in the letter I sent him and his reply was pretty speedy.’

_Hmph,_ she heard from the table.

Queenie bit back a smile. ‘Teenie? Wine or firewhiskey?’

* * *

 

By the time the doorbell rang again, Queenie had almost forgotten about her plan. She'd curled up on the sofa next to Jacob, sharing little kisses and whispering things in his ear, making him chuckle. She could feel Tina's irritation from across the room, but she didn't much care. Jacob had almost finished his glass of wine.

‘You gonna get that?’ Queenie asked her sister.

‘No.’

‘Alright then.’

Queenie gave one last kiss to Jacob and jumped up from the sofa before crossing the apartment. She pulled open the door and grinned, all doe-eyes and dimples, before she even set eyes on the man. He stood, head ducked in the doorway, clutching his wand and that troublesome case of his. It was hard to see what he was wearing under that big blue coat of his, but she didn't care. He could wear nothing but his under things for all she cared, so long as he was here.

‘Newt, honey! We didn't think you were comin’. Some of us were ‘bout to be real disappointed.’

_Sweet Mercy_ , she heard and she knew at once that Tina didn't mean to let her hear that. She could _feel_ her nerves, a fluttering in the atmosphere.

‘So sorry,’ he mumbled. ‘Had a little bit of trouble with a grindylow before I left. I was going to send an owl, but…’

Queenie stared at him, trying to get a handle on what he was feeling. Was he nervous like Tina? Did he still like her? What about that girl, Leta?

Nothing. She got nothing.

Queenie pouted a little. She _had_ been practising. But it was like Newt had put up a big wall, blocking her from his thoughts. Oh, that was just so _British._

She didn't realise she'd been staring at him until he said, ‘May I come in?’

Queenie blinked. ‘Oh! Of course. ‘C’mon in. And don’t worry ‘bout the time, sweetie, nothin’s ruined and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.’

She stepped back to let him pass and followed closely behind when he hobbled in, just to see her sister's reaction.

But it was Newt she should have been paying close attention to because he exclaimed, _Oh Merlin_ , so loudly she thought he'd said the words out loud. He didn't look at Queenie, and she gave no indication that she'd heard him— whether he knew she had remained to be seen.

_Lipstick. She wearing lipstick._

_Six months. It's been so long._

_She looks so—_

_So—_

‘Evening, Mr. Scamander,’ Tina offered politely.

_I'm Mr. Scamander now?_

Queenie was wondering the same thing, but then she remembered that Tina was irritated. He'd not given her his book. She hoped, for both their sakes, he had it here tonight.

‘Hey, Newt!’ Jacob grinned. ‘Ain't you surprised to see me here?’

‘No, actually.’ Newt shifted from one foot to the other. ‘Tina informed me that you hadn't been obliviated in her letters.’

‘You guys are writing letters to each other?’ Jacob asked, interested.

Queenie pretended this was a surprise, but she’d found the letters a few weeks ago. Or rather, the letters that Tina hadn’t sent him. Her sister had ripped them up and dropped them in the bin, but a simple incantation had solved that problem.

Okay, so Queenie _knew_ it was bad but Tina was so _secretive_. All the time. And she’d had Queenie worried with the way she’d been acting— all moody and low. Her walls had been up so high, and it was nearly impenetrable. All she wanted was a little peek, just to see how her sister was doing.

The letters revealed far much more than she’d ever intended to see.

 

_Dear Newt,_

_I’m working a case in Blue Ridge Mountains. Such a beautiful place. Wide open spaces. Clear, blue skies. It reminds me of you._

_Tina_

 

_Dear Newt,_

_It’s been a few months since I sent my last letter. I sent a letter a week or so ago, and I’m not sure if you g_ _ot it. Please let me know if you received it. ~~We all know how unreliable owl mail can be.~~ _

 

~~_Dear Newt,_ ~~

~~_It’s been months, now. Did you get my last_ ~~

~~_I suppose you must be busy. I saw a picture of you in Spellbound, signing copies of your_ ~~

 

~~_Newt,_ ~~

~~_I am still eagerly awaiting your book and_ ~~

 

~~_Mr Scamander,_ ~~

~~_You must think me a fool. First, you tell me you cannot come and visit because you have other commitments to do with your book. And then, when I ask again, you spew nonsense about a travel ban. You must think me a real fool. A real, real fool. And since now I know exactly what you think of aurors,_ ~~

 

‘Were,’ Newt admitted to Jacob, head ducked. ‘Were sending letters.’ He didn’t elaborate, even though Jacob was looking between them curiously. And Queenie had to admit, she was very interested to know who stopped writing to who.

An awkward silence descended.

‘Potatoes!’ Queenie called. They all stared at her. ‘Let me just finish cookin’ up them potatoes and we’ll getcha all fed. Won’t we, Teenie?’

Tina just nodded, and looked down at her hands. Queenie could _feel_ the emotion coming off her in waves. She hadn’t felt quite so much from Tina in weeks. She didn’t know whether it worried her or not.

_Not even looking at me._

There was Newt again, so loud, she almost exclaimed, ‘Mr. Scamander!’

_Hasn’t looked at me once—_

_Should I talk to her?_

_What do I say?_

_What can I say?_

‘Potatoes,’ Queenie repeated, weakly.

About five minutes later they found themselves sat around the Goldstein’s tiny table, potatoes, green beans, and carrots spooning themselves onto everyone’s plates. Newt had shed his coat before he sat down, to reveal his usual waistcoat and bow-tie ensemble. Tina had waved her wand to hang it up. That was something, at least — or it would have been if she hadn’t attempted to hang it up with him still in it, almost strangling him in the process with a, ‘Let me get that, Mr. Scamander.’

Oh how Queenie _wished_ her sister wouldn’t call him that. Every time it did, she felt a jolt run through her, and she knew it wasn’t her own thoughts. She had never known Newt to be so _loud_ before, but he was practically shouting in her ear. And it seemed like he had no idea he was even doing it. He couldn’t even feel that she was there. He was too wrapped up in Tina.

_Why won’t she look at me?_

She could hardly even hear Jacob, and she ended up having to listen to his answers out loud. It must have been nice for him, but it interrupted their flow; they usually had such an automatic thing going on, and now it was all manual.

_I wish she would look at me._

Oh sweet, sweet Mercy. The poor guy. She knew she was going to have to do something about the whole Tina ignoring him business.

‘I don’t know if she told you in her letters, but Teenie’s work’s been goin’ real good, Newt,’ Queenie offered casually as she cut into her pie. ‘She’s been reinstated as an Auror, and I reckon she’s gotten that groove of hers back.’

‘Oh,’ Newt said, politely. ‘Well, that’s— that’s really wonderful, Tina.’ _I knew you had it in you._

Tina peeked up at him, but didn’t say anything. Queenie kicked her under the table. She had to hand it to her, the girl didn’t yelp and that was a _hard_ kick. 

‘Thank you, Mr. Scamander.’

_Why does she keep calling me that?_

‘Y’know,’ Queenie said. ‘We’ve known the boys a good while now, Teenie. Y’should probably start callin’ him Newt.’

‘I thought she already did,’ Jacob said before shovelling a mouthful of potato.

Queenie grinned at him, dimples and all. That was her no-maj. _Was it something I said?_ came his thoughts. If only he knew! Maybe she would drag him off later and explain the situation.

But oh! The look Tina gave her! She would probably rather suffer through a dementor’s kiss than receive that look again. But it achieved what she wanted. Tina forced the tiniest smile Queenie had ever seen and said, ‘Old habits. Sorry. 

‘Not at all,’ Newt murmured back.

‘So what have you been up to, Newt?’ Jacob asked. ‘Gotten anymore of those fantastic beasts in the case of yours?’ _Can I see?_

Newt gave a small smile. ‘No, actually. I’ve been busy. With my book. Promoting it, I mean.’

_The book you were supposed to give me._

Queenie almost gasped out loud. Tina! She could hear Tina! And it was as loud as day, almost as crystal as Newt. Queenie didn’t look at her sister; if Tina knew she heard her, that wall would be back up stronger than ever, and she _needed_ this to work out her feelings towards Newt if her plan was going to work.

‘You bring any copies with you, honey?’ Queenie asked.

Newt hesitated.

_One._

‘No. Not on me.’

_Just one._  

‘Sorry,’ he said.

_For Tina._

Queenie had to bite back a smile. ‘That’s a shame, now.’

‘Yes.’

_When do I give it to her— Do I give it to her— Does she want it—_

_Typical,_ Tina thought. _No book. Of course not._

_She probably doesn’t even want it—_

_Of course he didn’t bring you a book. You’re a fool ,Porpentina Goldstein._

_Mustn’t give it to her. Too embarrassing. What I wrote. Humiliating—_

Queenie’s eyes flickered over to Newt. What did he write? What could possibly be too humiliating? She tried to hide the sudden excitement she felt. _This_ was far more interesting than she could even have dreamed of.

_How could you think that he might feel anything you—_ Tina began.

_Look at her. She’s so beautiful._

_— feel for him?_

_Of course she doesn’t reciprocate._

_Has as much emotional range as a fork._

_Blithering idiot, Newt Scamander._

_Look at him._

_So beautiful. If I could just—_

_You're an idiot, Tina._

_— lean across and—_

_Stupid._

_— so badly want to—_

_Pathetic._

_— kiss her._

Queenie had _just_ taken a sip of firewhiskey when he’d thought that, and ended up spluttering it across the table.

‘Queenie! Sweetheart!” Jacob exclaimed, rubbing her back. He pushed a glass of water towards her. ‘Are you alright?’

She could hardly hear him. Newt was drowning everything out with his words, with his desires, with his _longing._ The longing to just reach over and touch her was eating him alive.

It was too much to bear.

‘So Newt, tell me, do you have to do many signings?’ Queenie asked, mainly to change the subject of thoughts in his head. She knew what men were like 

But then, Newt Scamander… he had always been a gentleman, whether he wanted her reading his thoughts or not. And he never bothered with women or other _urges_ , so to speak. Then again, his thoughts were not usually this loud. He was feeling so much. Queenie thought that perhaps if he felt anymore, she might explode. She was already starting to get a bit of a headache.

‘Most unfortunately.’

Jacob huffed a laugh. ‘Aw yeah? That doesn’t sound like your thing at all.’

Newt blinked. Smiled. ‘You’re right, actually. It really isn’t. I’m still not a people person.’

‘You can say that again,’ Tina murmured.

Newt’s eyes flashed up at her. Hurt flickered across his face, just for a second, and Queenie wondered if her sister could tell what it was. She could feel it coming off him in a tsunami. She had struggled to gauge what it was at first, but it was clear he’d been feeling hurt from the moment he stepped through the door.

_Uncalled for. Ignores me—_

_I shouldn’t have said that,_ she heard Tina think.

_Won’t even look at me—_

_I really, really shouldn’t have said that._

_Then insults me—_

_But he deserved it._  

_Should just get my coat— leave—_  

_He should just leave—_

‘No!’ Queenie called, before she could stop herself. They all stared at her and she inwardly cursed herself. Foolish. Foolish, Queenie. Then she directed her gaze on Jacob. ‘No more potatoes, honey. We’re gonna be having dessert soon, and I made your favourite.’ 

To his credit, Jacob didn’t even blink, his eyes twinkling. ‘I’ll save some room then.’ _Tell me later._ She squeezed his hand in agreement.

_I can make an excuse._ Newt was shouting again. _Something to do with that grindylow—_  

_He looks like he’s going to leave,_ Tina thought. _He’s reaching for his wand._

Queenie watched as Newt looked across the table at her sister. _But I don’t want to—_

_But I don’t want him to._

Quick. Queenie needed to think. She needed to think fast. She needed them here. She said the first thing that came to her mind, even though she knew Tina would kill her for it later. ‘Teenie is… frustrated. Because she thinks that Jacob and I shouldn’t be together.’

Tina turned to look at her, mouth agape. _What about that ceasefire?_

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. And this was certainly a desperate time.

At first Queenie thought her sister was too shocked to speak, but then she burst out, ‘He’s a no-maj!’ Then had the gall to look apologetically at Jacob. ‘It’s nothing personal. But the rules. The laws— 

‘Are, quite frankly, barbaric,’ Newt said. It was so sudden and so _confrontational_ , that Queenie had just thought the poor man was shouting again. But everyone turned to look at Newt, and despite the fact that his head did duck a little in embarrassment, his eyes remained on Tina across the table. Queenie felt the sizzle of tension as their eyes met. Oh, how she hoped she wouldn’t be around if they did ever get together.

‘Oh? Barbaric, are they?’

‘Yes.’ There was a short pause, where Tina glared at him, and Newt conjured up what to say. ‘The fact that you can’t befriend a muggle is quite simply the— 

‘The reason we are still alive!’

‘— biggest pile of hippogriff dung I have ever heard.’ _Archaic. Medieval._

‘Oh, _really?’_ Queenie could _feel_ her anger.

‘And you fact that you can’t _marry_ a muggle is absurd. You’re—’

‘And what muggle are you gonna marry, Mr. Scamander?’ _Probably rather marry a no-maj than me. Maybe he has a no-maj he writes letters to. Maybe they’re lovers. Maybe he holds her into the night. Kisses her. Maybe—_

He blinked furiously. ‘You are taking away a basic human right, forbidding the most natural thing, perhaps, in the entire world, the one thing we wizards and muggles share— the ability and capability to love and to be loved in return— 

She clapped her hands. ‘Well, that was _poetry._ ’

Newt stood, knives and forks clattering around him, jolting the table as he did so. He looked, right at Tina. ‘It's selfish to deny your sister’s right to love because you refuse to let it in yourself.’

There was a silence. Or there would have been, if Newt wasn't up to his shouting again. Queenie was definitely gonna need some aspirin after tonight.

_Oh Merlin_. _Why did I just say that? Why did I— why did I— and what’s that all about— marrying a muggle— well, what’s done is done I suppose._

‘I’ll get my coat,’ he said softly. He swallowed, peeking at Queenie and Jacob. ‘So sorry. Must get back. There’s that grindylow, you see and—’ _Need to get out._ He swallowed again, and stepped out from behind the table.

It was soft at first, the repetition of thoughts. The quiet anger. Tina. _How dare he. How dare he._ She stood up from the table, her hand clenched around her wand. For one wild moment Queenie thought she was going to strike him, and if Newt’s startled thoughts were anything to go by, so did he.

‘Wait just a minute, Mr. Scamander.’ Her voice was soft. Simmering, like a boiling cauldron. ‘I’m the one who refuses to let love in?’

Newt seemed at a loss for words. He looked helplessly around the room, as if looking for an answer, before turning his attention back to her. ‘That is the most logical conclusion, yes. 

‘Me?’

‘I just said—’

‘ _You’re_ the one who didn’t answer my letters.’

Newt blinked. _What does this have to do with anything?_ ‘I didn’t know where you—’

‘ _You’re_ the one who has thrown out this— this— travel ban excuse time and time again, just to put off bringing your book, after you said you would.’ _He must really think I’m stupid._

Newt’s mouth fell open. ‘Well, actually I—’

‘ _You’re_ the one who’s been pictured at parties and signings, sharing champagne with Leta Lestrange and having the time of your life—’

‘But the thing is—’

‘While _I’ve_ been here, waiting for you and your book, like some kind of _fool._ ’

‘The—’

‘So, for Mercy’s sake, don’t you dare turn around and tell me that _I’m_ the one who refuses to let love in when you would rather pine after the girl whose picture you carry then allow yourself even the possibility of something new and—’

‘I _tried to get to you,_ ’ Newt shouted, much to the surprise of everyone in the room. He took a slow breath in, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were laced with determination. ‘The travel ban excuse— it wasn’t an excuse. I tried— I tried so hard. I went back again, and again, to get it lifted, so I could come and see you.’ Silence. He stared down at his shoes. ‘And for your information, I detest those events. And I would have much rather been here, with you, than with Leta. So if you’ve quite finished insulting me—’

He waved his wand and his coat flew off the peg, and into his arms. He didn’t bother to put it on, but picked up his suitcase. ‘Thank you for dinner, Queenie.’ Queenie stared at him.

She could feel his heart pounding. She could feel the anguish. The pain. Waves of it. An ocean. He was drowning.

‘No, honey. Don’t go— stay—’

_I’ve had enough._

He turned and stormed out the door so fast, a breeze followed him. Then they were left with the silence in the room.

_Oh Mercy Lewis,_ Tina thought. _I’ve lost— I’ve— Hates me—_

Queenie turned to her sister fiercely. ‘No, he doesn’t. You better go after him, Porpentina Goldstein, or so help me. This is what love looks like. He all but admitted it and if you let him apparate away, they’ll be no bringin’ him back.’

Tina gaped at her.

‘ _Go._ ’

* * *

Tina flew out the door, her heart pounding. She could hear his shoes near the bottom of the stairs. Once he got outside, she knew that he’d apparate back to wherever he was staying. Where _was_ he staying? Which hotel? She didn’t even know— she hadn’t even asked.

‘Mr. Scamander,’ she called, as she ran down the stairs, goosebumps puckering on her arms in the cold of the hallway. ‘ _Newt. Hey, Newt.’_  She knew Mrs. Esposito could probably hear everything she was saying but, for once, she didn’t care. She didn’t want to be alone.

He was fast, but she was faster. She reached the long length of the entrance hall the same time he reached the door. ‘ _Newt._ ’

He turned, surprised. ‘Tina?’ His face was guarded.

‘Don’t go.’ She was out of breath from running down all those stairs. She clutched her stomach. ‘Please don’t go.’

They stared at each other in the hall.

‘I was angry, alright? I was angry because I didn’t think you— I thought you might not have wa...’

‘Wanted you?’ he finished for her.

‘I was pretty sure of it actually.’ She looked down at her shoes. She thought how stupid she must have looked, in Queenie’s flimsy dress, only _just_ reaching her knees, exposing her arms and back. She wrapped her arms around herself to fend off the cold.

‘No Tina, that’s not—’ He dropped his wand, and scrambled to pick it up. ‘That’s not at all what—’ He took a step towards her, tucking his wand under his arm, fumbling in his coat. ‘I have—’

She felt it safe enough to take a step towards him. Her heart was calming now, but fluttering with anxiety. ‘You have?’    

‘My book— I thought—’ He pulled the book out from inside his coat pocket, revealing the shiny, new cover and beautiful lettering, _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._ ‘I thought I might give it to you today. Now. If that’s agreeable with you.’ He didn’t quite look at her as he spoke, but closed the rest of the distance between them so he could hold the book out for her. She stared at it. He looked at her. ‘I did try,’ he murmured. ‘I really did try.’

She took it, feeling shame and humiliation well up inside her. He’d brought it with him. She stared at the beautiful cover, her fingertips brushing the soft material.

‘Open it.’

She gave him a quizzical look before she did as he directed, to the first page. And there, scrawled in chaotic handwriting read:

 

_For my dearest Tina,_

_As promised._

_All my love,_

_Newt Scamander._

 

‘All my love,’ she whispered, as she traced the black ink.

He shifted, embarrassed, from one foot to the other. ‘I really did try,’ he repeated, softly. ‘To get back to you.’

She kept her eyes on the cover. She could feel heat burning behind them. The pages blurred together, and she had to look away before tears fell and she ruined the page. ‘Do you mean it? What you wrote?’

‘Yes.’  

‘Thank you.’ Her voice was breathless. ‘Thank you. It’s beautiful. Worth the wait.’

He huffed a small, relieved laugh. She was frightened to look back up at him, frightened to break the spell. The weight of what she’d said and what he’d written hung between them, making the air heavy. But she knew she’d have to make the next move. She knew that he wouldn’t. She looked back up at him, embarrassed by the tears shining in her eyes.

‘Would you like to come back up? For— for dessert? Queenie made apple pie, and you should—… you should try it. 

‘Yes. Yes, I would like that very much.’

He moved his hand up and caught an escaped tear, brushing it away with his thumb. She gave a small intake of breath. They stared at each other for what could have been years, before Newt moved a little closer and Tina saved him the embarrassment of chickening out when she pressed her lips to his. The coat and wand slipped from his grasp, onto the floor. They both exhaled at the same time, in relief, in complete and utter longing, and he moved his hands up to cradle her face. She clutched his waistcoat. 

Kissing Newt was exactly how she’d always imagined.

They stood there for what felt like an age, kissing softly, tentatively, both full well knowing that Mrs. Esposito could peek out her door and catch them any second. But it was Jacob who called down the stairs.

‘Hey, lovebirds. Queenie said pie’s gettin’ cold and she can hear you guys makin’ out, so get up here.’

They broke away, neither of them meeting each other’s eyes, and Tina couldn’t quite bring herself to let go of his waistcoat. He still held her face in his hands.

‘We should…’ she whispered, unable to finish her sentence. She was too busy looking at him. She could see each individual freckle on his face.

‘Yes,’ he whispered back.

But it seemed to take all of their strength to untangle from each other, despite the shy, embarrassed glances they shared. She picked up his coat, and he grabbed his wand and together, they made their way back up the stairs. 

_Yes,_ Tina thought. _This is what love looks like._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you reached this you got to the end! Thank you so much! It means a lot. This was my first Newtina fic so pls let me know what you think. 
> 
> When I started writing this I planned to make it more funny than angsty, where the babes get caught thinking all these embarrassing things about each other. But it just turned into angst. So I'm thinking of doing a second part to this where everything's happy and Queenie can hear every single happy thought (and kinda wish she couldn't). What do you think? 
> 
> Also guys keep your eyes peeeeeeled, because like I said, I've written another three fics (including Newtina baby), so I'll be posting them v shortly!


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